Loneliness. Emoness. Tired.
I can finally felt this three things together tonight :)
Blah.Nobody know what I feel. x)
I know what just happened and I'm just so helpless.



"Who am I be with?"

This topic seems to be very HOT huh?
Alright then.. here it is.
I'm now be with a girl who is freaking busy.
The one who always put the work and her friends at the 1st in her heart (:
She is smart. *Smarter than me :) *
Yeah. She got a group of friends.
I'll be lining up at the first counting from the back.
She never wants to mention anything about us.
I guess even she doesn't know what kind of relationship we are having huh?
Blah. Leave it.
She has her own attitude and this makes her different than others.
No matter how she is... she will never change.
She's still the best for me.
Thus, I wouldn't scold or even pissed off on her because a girl like her is hard to find :)
It's not just about tolerate. It's I'm doing what exactly in my mind and heart.
Whenever I met or talk to her.. my anger will just never appear.
She really has alot of "fans" out there.=]

I know it's impossible to reach my turn.
After all.. it's just a day dream.
The always ravinishing beauty will never be forgotten by me.
I ♥ Her. <3



* You know me better than anyone else. *
I ♥ You

Alright.
Jk will be busy studying already.
So.. kinda inactive in blogging and replying comment at cbox.
Jk is giving lot of stress to himself until he almost explodes :)
Jk wants to be a better guy. Better boyfriend.
Hell yeah.I'm crapping again =]
Tata.
That's all for today.
*Rush*
><

Bloody hell day.
Since I wake up in the morning.. everything make me pissed seriously (:
I turn on my computer and Internet wanna play Fb ..
What I saw is my good friend over there ( in fb )..
Then.. I got to know they were going to have badminton =]
Hell yeah. Kinda pissed and I wouldn't join them at all next time (:
Blardy shits.


Second thing...
Sms that Jia Ying.. *I don't know she was at school*
No REPLY! :)

Alright.. I phone her. *Please call again later*
WoW =]
Half pissed already (:
Wanted to phone the house number..




All of this make me have to disturb Vivian (:
Alright.. I sms her and so I got the phone number for the house.
I got that number and blardy shits.
The person said it's a wrong number. x)
Sms her again to make sure whether it's Jia Ying's onee.
Okay.. What I got is NO REPLY from her.=]
I miss call her for once. * Though she will reply *
Well.. she didn't.
I PHONE her.
She said she's at school and couldn't reply.
The first thing cross by my mind is..
"You can't reply my sms but you can pick up my phone?"
*Clap clap* PRO!
Just blardy tell me you don't want to reply my sms.
SHIT SHIT!
Imma 3/4 pissed.
Finally I knew that number .. is JoVy's onee.
I want Jia Ying's one. SWT you!
Okay.. *Chilled*
Then I finally know Jia Ying is at school. Blardy shits moment.=X




Have to reach there by 2pm and you went to school :)
How great you are.
You think you're SUPERWOMAN ar?

Can fly here and there?
WT.=____=
Now I'm fully pissed and SUPER dhulan (:
It isn't really worth anymore. Gonna be 1 hour wasted.
You still have to bathe.MAKAN!
COME to desa.=X
You're superb late (:



Well,I don't know what will be coming tonight.=]
Maybe to be continue and I will EXPLODE today. WAHAHA!
Imma crazy already. *Dang dang*

18/11
Memories returned (:
I have to still go on with my life.
I could live happier. I could live with more freedom.
3 months passed.=]



Tired and dissapointment night I ever had yesterday.
I still remember how happy am I on Monday.
Everything happens on Tuesday is so opposite.
What I want isn't the letter you wrote and the heart you made for me.
I want you to be by myside.
Since you have already make your decision.. I wouldn't want to talk anymore too.
Although I really want to ask you once again.. it seems to be useless alot.
Maybe you can simply ask me to wait because you don't even bother about me.
You're so busy with your life and that's why you are very sure that I can wait.
I don't mind that you late reply those messages.
I don't mind that you're busy with your life until I'm left out.
Blah. I'm crapping again.=]

Yeah. I can wait but how long can I wait?
I don't even know how long I can live in this world (:
I just want to appreciate every minute we've been together.

Since you made up your mind and so.. I want you to remember this few things too.


No matter where I go..
No matter how busy am I..
For me , our distance never changed because you're still in the same place.
My heart.
Yet , I will still keep on remind myself..
We are just friends.
Friends forever :)
I will never think of any further relationship between me and you anymore.

Today is kinda..
happy and pissed day (:



Well..
Let's start with with the pissed one first.
Okay.First I want to scold her BABI!
Let me introduce who is her.=]
She's the bloody kerani from Section 5 school.
Okay..I went to take my PMR sijil.. and the kerani was acting freaking RUDE!
I was like.. "err. Your mum didn't teach you moral values huh?"
If she feels so hard for her to find mine.. why don't just let me find myself?
Even my friend beside me was like WTF!
I just simply asked her whether isit I'm the one who have to sign?
Guess what she answered?
"Kamu tak belajar ke? Tak ada mata tengok? "
FUCK FUCK!
I just bloody want to make sure so there will be no mistake.
Even Pn.Che has the patience to ask me which class I'm from last year.
Damn that bloody kerani.




*Chilled*
Now move to the happy one.
I know everything already. I know it's my wrong.
I'm regret and feel guilty to put you into this condition too.
Perhaps.. I shouldn't tell you?
You let me know yours.. I want to let you know mine too.
You know what I've been regret all of this time.
Maybe humans only know how to appreciate something / someone when it's about to end / dissapear?
I will not let this happen again.
You told me not to say those "annoying and guilty kind of words".
I've already forget and forgive about it on that night you asked me to find another.
I know what you did right now is all for my own good.
Yeah.Next year gonna be SPM if I'm still around (:
I might be busying preparing everything for the SPM until left you alone.
Am I selfish?
You don't have to worry about that because no matter how busy am I..
There's still alot of time for you.
My life is just HOME HOME HOME.
That's why I'm superb free.=]
I will do as what I promise.



* The heart you made really do make me smile (: *

Hmmph..
Honestly,what you told me in the sms today really do hurt me alot.
I don't know why all of sudden you will tell me all this.
I just realise.. I'm actually this kind of jerk.
I'm actually a bad guy and playboy in your heart isit?
I don't know what to say.
I don't know how to explain but I will treat all this never happen.
Maybe I'm kinda hot tempered last time.. not anymore right now.
It's so obvious that I've change.
Although it's not because of you, I still want you to know how am I right now.
I'm willing to tolerate with you.
I just don't like being ignored. I hate that feeling.
Alright?




Seriously.. I don't mind you're busy.
I don't mind you if you late reply my messages.=]
I don't like to disturb you too (:

I know what's your feeling right now.
I know everything and that's why I didn't complain about it since at the first.
Trust me.
It's just me and you =]
Whenever you need me,I will still stay right beside you alright?
I'm a good helper but a very lousy boyfriend :)